The Decision is Final and Irrevocable

I promised some friends over social networking site Facebook that I would shed light to the status I posted March 30, 2013 that reads:

The DECISION is FINAL and IRREVOCABLE... :)
Lord, bless me with the decision I made. :)

This status was in relation to what I have said during the last Kalinga Night Session of the recently concluded Bayani Challenge 2013 of Gawad Kalinga at Cadiz City, Negros Occidental. I was--I believe--lucky to be one of the sharer, with Tito Ernie Maipid as the Speaker. When I was approached by one of our leaders in Gawad Kalinga to share, my first impression was, that I am star-struck to be sharing after Tito Ernie's talk. But anyways, I accepted, as I believe it is still part of the "Challenge" being in BC2013. I was thinking over what I have to share--many things came to mind, but never a solid one--even just before I was called on stage to share...and that was it, I know that I am a cry-baby but I did not expect that I would do it on-stage sharing the HOPE I have experienced and seen in Gawad Kalinga, I did not even expect that I would declare the decision I have been praying for for the past 3 months. I could not even remember the entirety of what I have said that night. But let me share in a bigger way the decision I have declared.

My eyes were opened to the work of Gawad Kalinga (GK) when I was still in college, at first, all I was thinking that I am just doing an act of social concern, just a one-shot deal. But being and doing work in GK made me realize that there more to just building the house and giving house to the poor and homeless. I believe it goes beyond that, especially after graduating that I was made to handle the youth group in the GK site in my hometown, building relationship with them, I have even learned to appreciate the work in GK. Awaiting the result of the Nurse Licensure Exam, I helped my parents train selected mothers in the same GK village to become health workers for their community. And it did not stop with that village alone, I was able to help out in training mothers from other GK villages as well over the years. Come 2012, after almost 6 months of being jobless, and enjoying my time serving my church and my community (sfC-gk), came an opportunity, the school where I used to teach, through Balayan (the Community Development and Volunteer Formation Office), is in need of a Community Organizer for a GK Village that the University handles--GK Lopue Legacy Village. With my background from GK and some concepts of Community Organizing, I applied and got accepted. My first month was a struggle for me. I have to adjust with a smaller compensation than what I used to enjoy teaching in Nursing. Second, my weekends are workdays, I was used to have my Sundays free and me singing at church. Third, the work is truly new to me, there are words and practices that I just encountered, realities in life that I only get to witness with my own two eyes for the first time. I conduct home visits mostly on foot, walking distances I never imagined I can take.

Amidst all the adjustment and what I thought was a struggle, I learned valuable things, I learned the value of the money I receive. I value life's simple joys and little blessings that comes. And most of all I value the love that I get from the people I am working with in the community. It is through them that I get to learn how to build relationship and not just do transactions. I am also grateful for the appreciation and value they gave me as a person. And though, I was ready to let them go with the end of my contract December 2012, I was also praying for an extension, and was glad that I got an extension. But, the time I am posed for an extension, a our Office Director asked me, "What are my Long-term plans? Short-term Plans?" and I realized I have none, I always go with the flow, I take whatever comes. And the question did struck me.

Over the past years, after graduating and passing the board, I always just go with whatever comes, application here at the local workplaces and even abroad. But I have no clear plans in sight. The future have always been a blur for me.Until that question struck me.

With the entry of 2013, I have also been trying to weigh things, praying and discerning for a decision. For us nurses, the opportunity of getting paid work in a hospital here in the country have been so slim. Same as getting work abroad. I have pending application for Immigration to Canada, I am being promised with work by a local leader.

After almost three months of praying and discerning, I finally made a decision: I WILL LET GO OF MY DREAMS OF WORKING ABROAD AND STAY AND WORK HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES and continue the work I am doing with Gawad Kalinga.

I know that I might disappoint some, but I believe that I am making the right decision. I made this decision because after the long years of working/volunteering in Gawad Kalinga, I see the HOPE everyday, the hope I plant in the heart of the people I work with is shared to others as well. And I believe that by staying in the country and working here (especially in Gawad Kalinga), I can do even better. I can touch more lives and they in turn gets to touch further more lives. I think, this is the purpose that I am to live, to be a source of God's love to the least, the last and the lost. The decision I made was also inspired by the people I work with at GK Lopue Legacy Village, being with them in the last six months have opened my eyes to the HOPE that GK is planting in every Filipino. The love they are giving me has truly moved me to continue to love them.

I continue to pray that God strengthen me in this decision I made. That God may continue to use me to share His love and hope to others. :)